Joke: Vasectomy

[[JiF]Djsmg]

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The vet told him that there was a procedure called a Vaysectome that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb,(fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10'

The Alabamian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.'

'Trust me,' said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can! He held the can up to his ear and began to count...

'1'
'2'
'3'
'4'
'5'
'uh'

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.


This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Mississippi, Georgia, Missouri, West Virginia, Wyoming, and parts of Indiana.

[[JiF]55GaLLoNdrUm]

Hey! I'm from Kentucky! And just because we TALK slow in the south doesn't mean we ARE slow. So, in retaliation for Dixie...

Two New York businessmen have undertaken a new business venture. After leasing their location, they begin to set up shop. Their product has yet to come in, so all they have is an empty store with two desks.

A southern tourist happens to be walking by and notices the store. He looks at the store, then at the gentlemen, and asks, "What are y'all sellin'?"

The first slicker smiles at the second and says to the southerner, "Oh, we're having a sale on idiots."
Without missing a beat the redneck replies, "Well, y'all must be doin' pretty good. You've only got two left!"

[[JiF]corn]

Hey Djsmg, you forgot about Texas

In high school, my buddies older brother was dating his own cousin

She was hot

[[JiF]55GaLLoNdrUm]

Despite my last reply, that really was a good one, dj. Why no mention of Arkansas, Louisiana, or the Carolinas? You can't do a dumb redneck joke and leave out Arkansas! Oh! Here's a good one...

I'll bet you didn't know, but they have developed and placed into production black boxes for automobiles like the ones used in planes. These black boxes have been installed in vehicles for the past two years without being publicly announced. The boxes record the events that occur directly prior to an auto accident. Astoundingly, in 46 states, the phrase "On no!" was most commonly uttered right before impact. The states of Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Texas all shared a different statement. Any idea what it was?


"Hold my beer and watch this!"

[Boogie]

Yeah, the best ones are coon-ass jokes from Louisiana. And since I are one:

Boudreaux and Thibideaux were duck hunting when a UFO flew past. Boudreaux knocks it down with one shot and after staring at the little green man for a few minutes, Thib asks him, "W'at you t'ink dat is?
Boudreaux answers, "I do' know, ...go start some rice."