Tired of being Badgered?

[[JiF]Mentat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGJdNPiW ... automotive

[[JiF]KellysHero]

Nice find!

[[JiF]Flying Tiger]

LMFAO!!!

Oh that was too good LOL!!!

I had no idea Badger was a used car salesmen?

Best laugh I've had in awhile

[[JiF]ALargeWoodenBadger]

You guys just don't get it. The badger is good, the badger is wise.

Johnson KIA has painted a self serving negative picture of the noble badger enthusiasm for sales. What a crock! What they failed to show is that the badger was driven by pure patriotism! That's right! he was selling cars for the love of his country and thanks to those 'commies' at Johnson KIA the economy is now nearly in ruin.

Consider what happened:

First Johnson KIA painted the badger as the "typical" American car salesman, undermining the consumers trust in salespeople and causing a reduction in the overall sales of new American made vehicles. This knocked down the first pillar of America's consumer driven "car crazy" economy.

This of course resulted in the first round of layoffs in the automotive sector and limited plant closures. Cost reduction programs were introduced and production started to move out of the USA and into the slave labor camps of China.

This resulted in a surge in the Chinese economy allowing them to increase competition in other manufacturing areas. Soon other industries (already enslaved by Walmart's cost reduction labor hating philosophy) began to follow the automotive led. This increased China's economic power and helped to drive up Chinese's demand for oil.

The loss of high paying jobs in the US further reduced demand for American cars and encouraged the car companies to shift even more production out of the US heartland and into the cruel sweat shops in (where else) China. Which of course converted more high paying US jobs into Chinese economic power, shifting wealth from the USA to China and further driving up demand for oil in that communist land.

The rise in oil prices further increased the transfer of wealth out of the USA into, among other places, the terrorist rich lands of the middle east! This transfer of wealth reduce the power of the US dollar and help to reduce US overall economic power. Loss of buying power helped to increase both the US fiscal and trade deficits and led to a loss of confidence in the US economy. Weakening world confidence in the US economy resulted in a loss of confidence in the US dollar. The falling US dollar contributed to the rise in gas prices and further decreased the demand for new American cars thus shifting even more production and jobs to China.

Round and round it goes, make fun of one badger and the whole country suffers.

It should be noted the Johnson KIA is selling a line of cars made in South Korea by the manufacturing giant Hyundia who's major export market is ... red China!"

If they had only trusted the freedom loving badger.

(Thanks Johnson KIA, see you in hell you badger hating - terrorist loving commie bastards)

[[JiF][AARP]Tissueman]

LOL!

[[JiF]Flying Tiger]

LOL!!!

Yep that's our Badger, a trip without the luggage!

Wiggle Wiggle Whump, Wiggle Wiggle Whump ROFL!!!

[[JiF]Djsmg]

LOL

[[JiF]Melon Farmer]

Yeah, but OUR Badger plays hockey! That must be one of his relatives that moved south to the States.

[[JiF]Stepovich]

[[JiF]Mentat]

...COULD ...NOT...RESIST...

Randy badger sparks police manhunt http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2956281.html

A randy badger sparked a police manhunt for a sex attacker when his howls of passion were mistaken for a woman screaming.

Police in Linz, in western Germany, scrambled a helicopter and officers with night vision goggles after members of the public called to alert them about a sex attack in progress.

But as police followed the screams into a nearby forest, the search team stumbled across a pair of mating badgers.

A police spokesman said: "Nervous residents rang the police station and said they had heard several loud, frightened screams of a woman in a forest nearby.

"We scrambled a helicopter with night vision equipment and searched the forest but we only found wild animals going about their business.

"The mating calls of a badger during the mating season in July and August are easily mistaken for human screaming."

[[JiF]EA]

This thread as a hole is one of the funniest things i've ever experienced. Good reply badger lol. Glad I stopped by for this one.

[[JiF]ALargeWoodenBadger]

..."The mating calls of a badger during the mating season in July and August are easily mistaken for human screaming."

The Badgers of every nation express their passion with different calls some more interesting then others. For instance, the Swedish badger doesn’t so much scream as giggle and then insists that their sisters join then to ‘round out the field’ so to speak. As the act proceeds their cries grow to ear shattering levels “Innngrrrrreddd gitttt dde KkkkYyyy!” A further note of interest they were the first badgers to exploit the full potential of the video camera in enhancing the love making experience and are a favorite on Animal Channel and the Playboy Channel.

Italian badgers tend to be more self aware (or is that centered?) They often spend many hours grooming and adorning themselves with large garish medallions in hope of being noticed. The matting process is a long and intense ritual involving wild gesticulations fueled by excessive espresso consumption and generally ending in disappointment, not that any true Italian badger would admit to being disappointed. Instead the resilient badger will simply increase his grooming ritual and flock on more gold.

The story of the Irish badger is the probably the oddest. Their natural intelligence and hardness helped them survive and thrive in the rather dreary weather and hostile environment - despite the lack of a decent highway system. The Irish badgers gather each evening at the local watering hole. Pretending to enjoy each others company the wiley Irish badger will scope out the bar for suitable mates. However, years of living in a land with a strong Catholic influence has made the Irish badger somewhat sexually confused. While he would kill to be with a lady he knows deep in his little badger soul that this would led to eternity in hell. Not the killing part, Catholics are cool with that. To combat these conflicting desires the Irish badger fortifies himself with large quantities of beer before making his move. His move general involves passing out before approaching the prospective mate, throwing up on his shoes and then being dragged home by his buddies who then assure him that he did indeed get laid while they use his phone to ring up the sex chat lines and prepare for their attempt. The strong Catholic influence that almost brought about the extinction of the Irish badger also helps to save it. Despite the extremely low success rate of the Irish Badger mating ritual, the steadfast refusal to wear a condom (a sin in the eye of the lord) during the act helps to ensure a normal population growth.

American Badgers are known to strut about showing off their bulges. The female badgers preen themselves carefully while surreptitiously checking each bulge, carefully gauging size and desirability. The males with the largest and most obvious bulge then get to pick from the expectant females. The ritual concludes when the female removes the bulge from the male badger’s hip pocket, spends all the money and then gets impregnated by the male badger’s divorce lawyer. In a strange way this is the most efficient and cost effective mating rituals in the Badger world.

English badgers (non royal) are the slyest. They tend to use their superior language skills to disarm the female badger. Typically the male badger saunters up next to a prospective mate and engages in conversation. When it finally becomes obvious to the male that the prospective female is more interested in the bulging American badger then himself he will resort to trickery. Siding up to the female the English badger will lift one paw and point to the horizon and in a loud voice say “what’s that?” The female badger will naturally look in the direction the paw was pointing see nothing and turn back toward the male badger. By the time she has looked back in his direction the mating act is over and the male badger is making his way to the bar for a strong Gin and tonic.

Royal English badgers behave differently. They simply side up to a perspective mate, announce they are royalty and then decide on which servant should take care of the whole messy mating thing. While this had the unforeseen consequence of whipping out true royal bloodlines it should be noticed that royal servants are among the happiest badgers on earth.

Very little is known about the Canadian badger’s mating habits. The long cold winters and lack of direct sunlight has hampered most attempts by researchers to document its mating rituals. A single blurry tape exists that purports to capture Canadian badgers engaging in foreplay. The film was taken by a security camera behind the ‘Saddledome’ during the first intermission of a Montréal, Calgary hockey game. The area is usually used by smokers during the break but on this night two badgers can be clearly seen huddled against the arena wall. The Canadian badger does not scream in passion like the German badger but can be heard saying in a pleading tone. “Come on baby, the damn thing is so cold it’ll probably taste like a Popsicle, Eh!”

[[JiF]Mentat]

It is a commonly repeated myth that Irish badgers did at any time, under any circumstances wear shoes.

[[JiF]Stepovich]

I seem to remember, once upon a time, someone posting an audio of the Badger mating ordeal.

Only part I remember being intelligable; "no honey, not now, I have a headache and you obviously haven't showered..."
This between strange screams, screeches and growls.

[[JiF]Stepovich]

Urban badgers:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/birmingham/content ... ture.shtml

...and this from some ancient lore:
According to a manuscript from 1800 quoted in Dr. E.Neal's book:

Should one hear a badger call
And then an ullot [owl] cry,
Make thy peace with God, good soul,
For shortly thu shalt die.