Bah Humbug

[JiF]ALargeWoodenBadger · Mon Dec 25, 2006 1:59 am

Yes the Christmas curse has struck again. Just once I’d like to get through Christmas without it but it seems me and it are joined at the hip. First for those who have missed it a short history (for the sake of brevity I shall stick to this millennium):

December, 2000 – A raccoon hid and died under my side porch. By the time we figured where the smell was coming from he was almost 50% liquid. I had to crawl under the porch and scoop him out with my hands. I dug a hole in the back yard and poured the creature in. Then I undressed and dropped my clothes into the same hole. After which I used the garden hose to remove as much of the creature from body as I could before re-entering the house. It was a strange day, standing naked under a garden hose in the middle of my yard watching the first flakes of snow…

December, 2001 – A banner year. A sewer main busted flooding my basement with about 20” of human waste. Since my wife was nine months pregnant she went to live with my folks while I spent my days working, my evenings making chocolate and my nights shoveling sh_t. At the same time my car (a VW Golf) had a short that couldn’t be isolated by the dealership and had to be jumped every other start. I drove with jumper cables dangling out from under the hood; it was easier then reconnecting them every time I needed to go somewhere. We bought a new car the following month. (See: 2005)

December 2002 – Water heater splits open flooding the basement fortunately I had only stored a month’s supply of Pampers in the basement.

December, 2003 – I leave the house to find the snow in my yard has a green tint. It looks really pretty until I realize I’m looking at the shingles from my roof. Snow then turns to rain – ever tried to get a roof re-shingled in December?

December, 2004 - Furnace takes its own life. Ever tried to get a new furnace in December? Gas main breaks and we are evacuated, don’t know why? At the time it seemed to smell pretty nice.

December, 2005 – Got T-Boned by a white Cadillac in a snowstorm. The Caddy was speeding down a snow covered hill without lights when I made a left. The police said there was no way the accident could have been avoided then charged me with making an unsafe turn. I didn’t have loss of use insurance and was without a vehicle for 3 months. Ever tried to Christmas shop without access to a car? (or money)”

This year we were rocked when three of the largest manufacturers in our town layed off half their workers. Good old GM and FORD have decided to stop sourcing parts from local companies in favour of more exotic locations. The layoffs were announced in the last week of November – too late for us (I own a small chocolate/gift shop) to cancel our Christmas orders and actually started during the first week in December (just in time to effect Christmas sales), we find ourselves stuck with excess inventory and no way to move the goods. Of course when the tax people notice the growth in my inventory they’ll see it as a non-cash profit and want a share. They generally won’t care that sales are way off from last December.

At least I wasn’t among those receiving a pink slip. In my case I was notified that several contracts I was hoping for (I do IT work on the side to make ends meet) will be scaled back or canceled. I guess you could call that a “pink slip light”.

I awoke this morning to the smell of human waste in my basement. A mere inch and a half of the stuff – not even a challenge for those of us with experience in this area. I’ve spent the day down there with a mop and a bottle of bleach. When I got the mess cleaned up I went to work to shut down the tempering machines for Christmas. I was feeling kind of sorry for my self as I walked home. About a block from my house I came across a young girl sitting in the doorway of the old theater. It was obvious she had been there a while so I gave her a few bucks and walked her to the sub shop (it was on route). I never found out her story but it had to be worse then mine.

So why am I writing this? Dammed if I know – there is a moral here somewhere but I’m too tired to find it. At least I now understand the value of the restrictive guns laws we have in this country.

Here’s to a better year!

Merry Christmas

[JiF][AARP]Tissueman · Mon Dec 25, 2006 3:11 am

I think you beat my dead animal under the stairs. Hang in there.

[JiF]Beej1024 · Post by **[JiF]Beej1024** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 5:14 am

Sorry Badger. I have room in my house if you would consider relocating.

B

[JiF]Sandretzky · Post by **[JiF]Sandretzky** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:40 am

[JiF]DispDave · Post by **[JiF]DispDave** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:22 pm

Now we know why Badger gets infinitely better this time of year on the server!

Stay warm Badger.

[JiF]Bier · Post by **[JiF]Bier** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:53 pm

& I thought I had a bad Christmas several years back. I was layed off from work on christmas eve .

I was given 2 Turkeys & my christmas bonus along with a message that said " by the way work is slow happy holidays & were sorry but we have to lay you off today "

. then to make things even better for christmas @ midnight my water line from the meter to the house decides to fail on me , about 1 foot from my water meter the plumber who originally did all my plumbing installed a hose bib. well right there @ the TEE the riser for the hose bib rotted through on the nipple on the threaded area of the nipple where it was screwed into the TEE .

so its passed midnight im outside cold & wet & muddy and all the plumbing parts stores are closed

lucky for me I keep a well stocked garage full of plumbing parts

having all the parts to fix the problem was the only thing that went right for me that day .

[JiF][AARP]Grimp · Post by **[JiF][AARP]Grimp** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:44 pm

ERRRR, Badger

You make your own candy? You gonna have a sale? You got an online store? I want Badger candy

[JiF]LtWaterboy · Post by **[JiF]LtWaterboy** » Mon Dec 25, 2006 11:59 pm

Ok, so its 7PM EST - what ended up happening?!?!?!?

LT

[JiF]Sandretzky · Post by **[JiF]Sandretzky** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 1:30 am

[JiF]Bier wrote:then to make things even better for christmas @ midnight my water line from the meter to the house decides to fail on me , about 1 foot from my water meter the plumber who originally did all my plumbing

Well I can tell you its true dont buy a house from an electrician--it may burn down. Dont buy from a plumber, you may have a flood. Dont buy from a concrete guy the foundation will fall in. Dont buy from a carpenter cause the wind will blow it down....ect ect ect. Im a plumbing and heating guy and I bought from a plumber, I have every kind of pipe known to man in my house...probably job leftovers. I have copper, galvanized, pex, kitek, cpvc, abs, pvc, and I think I saw something from roman times down there. I dont know how I sleep at night sometimes.

[JiF]Bier · Post by **[JiF]Bier** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 2:14 am

I know that kitek water system has been on the market for about 10 yrs . last month I topped out a house , and the home owner wanted the kitek system installed instead of copper .

the only thing I liked about it that it didnt take as long to run the water system . but im not sure if id trust a brass fitting thats stuck in a plastic tube & crimped by a copper ring in my wall or attic for the life of the house . also i didnt care to see all my kitek tubeing in the attic just thrown up there and noodled all over the place . looked like an electrician did it ,nothing was square the way I like it

. also the tubeing isnt rodent proof whats to stop a rat or squirrel from attacking it and putting a nice hole in your plastic tubeing creating a nice little water leak in your attic / wall .

[JiF]Sandretzky · Post by **[JiF]Sandretzky** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:10 am

[JiF]Bier wrote:I know that kitek water system has been on the market for about 10 yrs . last month I topped out a house , and the home owner wanted the kitek system installed instead of copper .
the only thing I liked about it that it didnt take as long to run the water system . but im not sure if id trust a brass fitting thats stuck in a plastic tube & crimped by a copper ring in my wall or attic for the life of the house . also i didnt care to see all my kitek tubeing in the attic just thrown up there and noodled all over the place . looked like an electrician did it ,nothing was square the way I like it . also the tubeing isnt rodent proof whats to stop a rat or squirrel from attacking it and putting a nice hole in your plastic tubeing creating a nice little water leak in your attic / wall .

Kitek has an alluminum core in it so that might slow the rodents down. I have had squirrels chew through pex (not fun). But guys like us have to get used to this stuff now that copper has all but trippled in price. Plumb? Square? not gonna happen. I guess you and I are just plumb crazy Bier.

[JiF]Mentat · Post by **[JiF]Mentat** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:28 am

Break a leg....

Forgotten Hope, I find is often such a poetic and fitting name, I want to cry.

[JiF]Bier · Post by **[JiF]Bier** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 4:39 am

kitek is a new system to me , untill I topped out that house I had never installed it before . still learning about it . still need to read thru my book that the rep gave me .

its easy to install just takes some time getting use to running plastic tubeing to the manablock instead of hard or soft copper .

[JiF]Stepovich · Post by **[JiF]Stepovich** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 12:36 pm

Hope you survived Badger! That all sounds horrible.

Let us know when you're ready to unload spare goods,
I suspect there's a lot of potential customers here in the jar

Yet another reason to breathe a sigh of relief at the end
of another Christmas.

[JiF]Buick · Post by **[JiF]Buick** » Tue Dec 26, 2006 1:01 pm

omg Badger....

If you need anything do not hesitate to let me/us know.