Friday Funnies - May 2 08

[[JiF]Djsmg]

This is a take off on a current Canadian Bank commercial



and to keep things fair a Jimmy Kimmel interview of a couple who won $164 million dollar lottery

[[JiF]corn]

haha!

[[JiF]Lt Gav]

Just what I needed for a Friday afternoon.
Had my usual 2 pints in the pub.
Now all I need is to go to the canteen & get my free doughnuts!

[[JiF]ALargeWoodenBadger]

The clip is from a show called "This Hour has 22 Minutes." Cathy Jones is the blond woman in the red v-neck sweater. She was never what you would call “hot” but in the right circumstances she could be really really warm. When I was in second year I starred in a play with a group of her friends. I was lousy and the play was horrible. We ran for three whole nights. On the last night, after we had run out of relatives to fill the theater, the entire cast went back to Cathy's apartment (at least I believe it was her apartment - she certainly acted as if she owned the place) and got as drunk as we could afford. At some point I found myself on the floor behind the couch alternating between "making out" with Cathy and "passing out" beside her. During one of the friskier periods she mentioned she was thinking about going gay. My instinctive male response was "can I watch?" That single dumb line ended my chances for the evening and probably helped push her toward the other team (yes, I have the power to make women gay – not happy – just gay). She got up and did not return.

Thank god Cathy was a great hostess and was truly concerned with the well-being of her guest, me. She kindly sent her friend to check on me behind the couch and if necessary console me. Artsy people are always concerned about the effect they have on others (after all they have often fallen so deeply in love with themselves they can’t imagine the rest of us haven’t done so as well). I think she feared that if someone didn't attend to me immediately I might dwell on the pain of my loss and never leave the security of her couch. It was a nice couch, it was from KMart was the color of Dijon mustard and had spent the first part if it life in a motel lobby, but it wasn't that nice. She probably imagined that I would stay back there trying to live on lost Cheeto's and discarded pizza slices until my grief finally led to my demise. Then realizing she would be stuck with cleaning up the body (or risk losing her security deposit) she sent in her roommate.

Artsy people also hate cleaning, (unless it's required to prepare for a role - or they think it makes them seem eccentric). However, cleaning issues aside, her friends consoling was contingent on my truly being hurt so I had to maintain that guy-with-a-broken-heart-on-the-edge-of-suicide routine. If I so much as smiled she would replace a piece of clothing a start looking for the door. It required all my acting skill to stay in the role (of course there is nothing like instant feedback to keep you motivated and she gave great feedback). Had I performed with half the skill on the stage, the play we were in would still be running.

Eventually the booze ran out (which only added to the credibility of my guy-on-the-edge routine) and the party began to wind down. Have you ever noticed that at that age there is a direct correlation between the quantity of booze available and the quantity of clothing required to feel comfortable? Someone must have sobered up faster then I did and required some extra comfort, they left wearing my pants. Comfortable pants too.

Since I had spent all my money on beer I had too walk home wearing my green bomber jacket, Kodiak boots, and a pair of 'Mickey Mouse' boxer shorts (it takes a real man to attach the words 'mickey mouse' to his crotch area and walk with his head held high). It was the middle of February. I gave up drinking and partying that very day and stayed sober for nearly two weeks. Then my student loan came in on the March 1st. On March 2nd I came home without my sweater. Like many students I learn very slowly and only then by repetition.

I finally left school in 1985 when I ran out of both money and clothes.

God I miss those days.

[[JiF]Mentat]

"can I watch"

LOL

[[JiF][AARP]Tissueman]

"can I watch"

LOL

Ditto. I'm waiting for your autobiography. "The Life and Times of Large Wooden Badger - Even Canadians Can Have Real Lives".