Friday Funnies 3-7-08

[[JiF]Djsmg]

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."

We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I SHOUTED at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you *%&#@$ crazy!?"

She looked at ME, and quietly said, "That's once."

And from that moment..... we have lived happily every after."

[Sir Die-a-lot]

LoL.

Here's another one about mariage :

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."

"Mrs. Sanders, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When
your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from
another Mr. Sanders arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which
one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the
other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your
husband's."

"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs.
Sanders.

"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests
one time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off
somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with
him."

[[JiF]Djsmg]

Good one

One more for today, not really a marriage one more of a relationship one on why men shouldn't take messages, especially when in the midst of a BF1942 battle.

[Sir Die-a-lot]

Lmao

[[JiF]Stepovich]

Someone stole my story!
That's my wife in a nutshell

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."

We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I SHOUTED at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you *%&#@$ crazy!?"

She looked at ME, and quietly said, "That's once."

And from that moment..... we have lived happily every after."

[[JiF]Melon Farmer]

OK time for classic Rodney; My wife told me we should have sex more often. Now we'll NEVER see each other!

[[JiF]Stepovich]

"my wife's cooking's so bad that all the flies in the neighborhood pitched in to fix the hole in our screen door."

[[JiF]Melon Farmer]

Love your quote, Step. No one 50 years from now will ever be quoting: "I'm the decider."